My Saturday In The UK
2. Quickly check Internet; still doesn't work. Can't do blog/weather updates. Lucky for me my beloved iPhone gets me by...just. Minor blog update complete & team saved for safety.
3. Drive to football in the most stupid snow ever, the usual 10 minute journey takes 45.
4. Play like shite at football due to hangover & my team lose 15-10 over an hour.
5. Takes 1 hour 15 minutes to get home due to worsening snow.
6. Delay means I can't get home in time to check my internet is working, but luckily I get decent 3G reception so I can see comments regarding postponements & make last minute changes. Thank God for my iPhone.
7. More Saturday games cancelled after deadline, fantasy football essentially ruined for Week 18 despite hours of effort for player picks/update posts etc. Lose Nasri/RvP. Paint-drying games involving Sunderland, Bolton, Blackburn & West Ham are the only ones left.
8. Robinson, MGP, VDV, Bale, Jara, Brunt, Lampard, Balotelli & Kolorov - still hope!
9. Nope - news comes thought that all Sunday fixtures are wiped out too. Oh well, still got Robbo & MGP today!
10. Robbo loses clean sheet late on, MGP does nothing. Only Balotelli (literally insane) & Kolorov left. Maybe 15 points this week?
11. Me & mates agree to trek through snow to our local pub to drown sorrows/cry about lack of decent football (fantasy & real life) over the next 2 days.
12. Walk to agreed pub, slip over in snow, drop iPhone, completely smashed screen. Luckily still works...just (I can receive calls but touch-screen doesn't work properly).
13. Girlfriend rings barely working iPhone to moan that I haven't done the agreed Xmas shopping tasks. Don't remember agreeing to said tasks but insist it was impossible due to weather so settled on pub.
14. Insult to injury - she uses her fully working iPhone to look at Google Maps & discovers the pub I'm in is actually further away than the shopping centre I claimed I couldn't get to. Quickly say connection is breaking up, turn off phone.
15. Get home after 8 hours of drinking. She's not speaking to me. Blackburn points not updated. Stupid Yahoo.
16. Spend 15 minutes writing this post - annoys her even more yet actually adds nothing to the blog in terms of relevant content.
17. Add equally irrelevant photo to post.
We've all been there...right?
Merry Xmas guys :)
Cheers,
AM
73 comments:
Very poor week!
Haha..
Your best post to date...
funniest thing i've read all year nik, more like this please mate :)
LOL!!! Hero!!! Actually been in a similar situation mate, can see why this blog has "made it", you speak for the true footy fan in us all!
Dave
Priceless!
true or not - pure genius
Hahahahahaha
Soooo Funny , sry mate about ur story . i hope u better days to come ...
LOL
nick dont know if your have time but would love to read more stuff like this dude, i'm trying to explain to the lady why im laughing when i'm meant to be going to sleep. class!!!!!!
BEST. BLOG. EVER. !!!
Sorry you had such a shite day, AM, but if it makes for more fantastic posts like this, I hope your 2011 is horrendous!
(Joke, btw!)
"Insult to injury - girlfriend uses her fully working iPhone to look at Google Maps & discovers the pub I'm in is actually further away than the shopping centre I claimed I couldn't get to. Quickly say connection is breaking up, turn off phone."
I'm crying! If true funny, if not even funnier.
You better be getting her a frickin good present this year AM haha ;o)
Nik this is excellent. Please could you drop us a line. Our email address can be found through paypal donation email. Regards, Mike
Haha great stuff, I once met someone who fell over. It's a small world isn't it?
Anyway, I look forward to a Christmas day of carefully picking my team followed by a boxing day of hurriedly dropping them all at 11.59am.
Merry Christmas one and all
merry christmas nik....
GENIUS-
Hahaha......I love this post...........
U r right......We all have been there........
Things get so messed up that u feel like u just dun give a f*ck anymore........
ouch...which one u need replace first,.. iphone or girlfriend....hehehe..just kidding.
have make-up sex.. it'll make u feel better.. :p..
AM, this is the best post I've ever read since I subscribe your blog!
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Nik! What a week for fantasy player even u and me and everyone of us!
Cheers up, Nik
Ban
-Smile, it is Simple-
ROFL AM, I just had my girlfriend read this post and he only reply was "Yeah.... Dont be that guy..."
She hates my YFF obsession especially when I wake up, and her aswell, at 3:30am to begin my football morning ;D
Great stuff.
Any news on when the whether will get better?
Hey is that Vinnie Jones grabbing that dude's balls in the picture?
LEGEND!
hahahhah, great post! I live in spain, it's not snowing here, so matches were played, but the only thing worth watching is barça and im from madrid, so i don't bother. Love the premier league so much more!! damn weather! anyways I also ended up drinking all day and had no luck with a girl nik. tomorrow will be better for sure, although we'll have to find something else to do hahaha
eeeerrrrr I said "he" when I meant "she" in my post
HA
y havent the pts been updated guys??????/
and is manc v/s everton on ?////
It's OK, Nik, as you live in Woking.
"Woking also plays a role in literature: it is the town in which the Martians first land in H. G. Wells' science fiction novel The War of the Worlds. It also features in Douglas Adams's The Meaning of Liff, as the word for when you go to the kitchen but forget why."
from Arizona
Kellz - "dude in that picture?" Are you serious? That is the one, the only Gazza!
One of the top posts of the past 18 months - cheers, AM. Fingers crossed that the Monday game goes off. I moved up 150 places today with 9.5 points.
AM yu jus made my day. LOL
Got 6pts and moved 128 places! What a day,
This post beats first morning coffe by a million miles... Fantastic stuff, mate... Best thing writen for a long time, by anyone...
@ Kellz - you are the 2nd star of this post...
Gazza is not an actor so you didn't recognize him, or what????
p.s. does anyone has girlfriend/wife(or he like Kellz) who likes our YFF obsession, or all girls are the same no matter where do you live in this world?
ha ha...brilliant!!
Greatest.Post.Ever.
You MAY have pissed the old lady off, BUT you will have hundreds of YFF fans to keep you warm at night when said GF kicks you out.
-Owen
Worls class writing AM! Better still, done after 8 hours on the bevvie, brilliant!
Ash
I thought 25 will be my worst ever but now i have 4 with just Balotelli and Kolarov to go. I'll be surprised if the match goes on and even more surprised if i scored above 10. Merry Christmas Nik.
Ebi
Hahahaha epic story :D
By the way, Merry Xmas guys :)
merry xmas AM and all manager!
Funniest post i've read in a long, long, loooong time... Keep'em coming Nik, we need that in such "hard times" :)
Love it how Kellz@4.59am recognised exceptionally limited footballer Vinny Jones but referred to Gazza, England's last truly dominating midfielder, as "that dude"...
Top post AM.
Classic stuff AM ... hope your GF will appreciate and enjoy what you have written if she ever reads it!
Go easy on Kellz guys, he had either just woke up and was groggy in the early morning or was still drunk from the night before ... forget not spotting Gazza, he mis-typed his partner as a he ... but quickly recovered to clarify :-)
Enjoy Christmas guys ... too hot right now here in Durban, South Africa
Phil
agreed...best post ever...brightened up my day..thanks a lot. Have a merry christmas everybody :)
Good stuff! I did everything "right" by picking only Sunderland/Blackburn players minutes before the deadline (hands were shaking as I dropped Nasri for Gyan literally seconds before the deadline afraid of missing it), but as fate had did, did not pick the right players from either side and currently have 15 pts with Pedersen/Dunn/Slgado/Jones(def. a zero) /Robinson/Kolarov to go.
Sanitizer.
http://www.evertonfc.com/news/archive/2010/12/19/city-game-to-go-ahead
Hey nik make sure u go by the shopping centre again and pick up the vacuum cleaner she really wants for Xmas ;)
Kendo
WTF they doesn't update the point from Blackburn game WTH!! It's a lousy week with no football and yahoo are slow updating those point!!
It's priceless Nik, thanks)...hold on, we are with you!))
Agreed, Nik, that is a classic story!
I had to save my team on friday morning as i was away to work and then the works christmas night out on friday and as you can tell, i was AWOL until well into saturday afternoon so I missed out on filling my team with only players who had guaranteed games (can we call this 'snowballing your team'?)
In the end I had Kolarov, P.Jones, Nelson, Elmander and Balotelli who are able to score me points. Currently on Elmander's 6pts although that'll go up when Nelson gets his points (and Jones if any - do you get points for random bonus appearance before crocking yourself?!). Hopefully Kolarov and Balotelli will get some good points going for a change. I would love it if I ended up with 50 points this weekend, although that'd mean at least a Citeh clean sheet with Kolarov whacking in a good few crosses and Balotelli getting a couple of goals...and NO FOULS! One can only dream!
Great Post, Nik.
I never let my GF know that I wake up early on SAT for football. I just pretend I am trying to be healthy and wake up early on the weekend.
I am taking advantage of the lack of football action this week and let her know I put her before Football. She will be very happy that I will not watch a single min of football next sat(dec 25th no football). =)
However, I am worrying for next week. I will be driving an hour before the deadline and possibly miss all the game/team news.
Gee, Nik. Just think, if you had more horrible days like this, your blog would obviously be much more popular. Keep it up -- the great writing, of course.
I'm a newspaper columnist, and it's amazing how much more popular my stories are if they're about something terrible that happened to me. I've even found myself setting out to get into trouble just so I'll have something interesting to write about.
And oh, by the way... Does your girl read your blog? You could bust yourself a lot that way...
LOL
is it true that points for this week wont count?
@makir
I don't think so.
@ Bojan:
Most wives and girlfriends are the same all over the world wrt football and all other issues.
My wife can never understand why I'm always online checking and updating my YFF team page every weekend, when I'm SUPPOSED to give her and the kids undivided attention....
@ Nik:
You're now a world renowned YFF assistant manager. And with this new dimension to your blog, you're simply awesome. Keep it up! And more grease to your elbow!
@ All:
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!!!
@bojan - I may be the only one lucky enough to have a girlfriend who plays YFF, too. She's not nearly as obsessive as I am, but I don't catch any flak about it, either.
@Gavin - right behind you dude. my girlfriend actually helps me pick players. she doesn't have time for the whole business, but she loves my enthusiasm (read: geekiness) about it.
anyway, a Merry Christmas to Nik and All!
-CVB
Well done. Very amusing post.
nik,
great post,
im sure your credit card bill will be enormous after all this (the extra stuff ur gf bought and also a new iphone :D)
chi
PUB PUB PUB!!!! Oi OI OI!!!!
Absolutely brilliant post. My wife though it vey funny too. Well done Nik.
love this post and A_B's comment
It's not all wives who hate the football. My missus played Yahoo FFL one year - I let her join my work league as ("Sparkle Moscow") and she came third out of 27!
She may have had a bit of help from me (1st) but all the big calls were all her - you should have seen my work colleague's faces - hilarious!
And how come Yahoo updated Sunderland but not Blackburn?! Did their computers get snowed in or something?
Very inreseting?!?!
M. Pedersen Blackburn 0.00 points
P. Robinson Blackburn 0.00 points
COME ON PEOPLE!?! WHY CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE YAHOO IS SLOW??? THE B'BURN-WHU POINTS WILL BE UPDATED! THIS SEASON HAS BEEN CRAP FROM THE GET-GO, YAHOO HAVE BEEN TERRIBLE IN THEIR POINTS CALCULATIONS, WHY WOULD THIS WEEK BE ANY DIFFERENT!?!?! GOOD LORD ALMIGHTY, STOP WORRYING, GEEZUS.
if you say so, ok master!
Roll on the weekend, welcome back King Drogba if the snow permits.
I am the master.
dont think balotelli is gonna play coz hes not in a probable line up 4 2nyt.:(...
blackburn points will be added tonight after city game...
Gavin - MARRY HER.
@anon1.54 you can bet your life on Balotelli starting, Tevez is probably on his way out and you need the other strikers to be ready to fill in if that happens.
Stuck in Washington DC for the last 5 days. Txs a million british airways for your constant updates and consideration for pax's wellbeing. NOT! And trust me, this is not a grunt from some seasoned traveller who needs someone to blame when things don't go according to plan... the modern way!
anyway, had a good laugh reading Nik's post and couldn't help but relating to it on several levels, especially when it comes to the missus' demeanour regarding YFF. My wonderful other half behaves exactly the same when she sees the open YFF and/or this blog web pages on both my desktop and laptop; the word 'fantasy' being a constant source of perplexity or ridicule, like 'why the hell are you wasting your time instead of paying more attention to me' sort of way. Not to mention that, unlike other posters, I can't really rely on her expertise as football seems to be a nuinsance to her, except when a goodlooking player appears on the small screen (take a bow lorik cana, luis figo and fabregas, to name a few she's pointed out recently)
She's very good with stocks and shares though and cooks a mean lentil soup!
Keep up the good work, brother Nik. We salute you!
Nuno
Wow, so many comments without ANYONE to post their team!!
Nik, you know your post is interesting if this happens!
Let's keep it real fun (and off topic)!
Phenomenal post, Nik! I hope there was some embellishment for comedic effect, but if not... well, the best of luck to you, and a Merry Christmas!
I'll actually be in London over New Year's. I'm not sure about the internet situation at my hotel, so my team could be taking a big hit (assuming any of the matches actually get played). My fingers are crossed that QPR v. Bristol City doesn't wind up another weather victim.
Oh, and here's hoping for Kolarov and Silva to get a hattrick apiece. ;)
great read, best breakfast for the rainy day thanks AM, merry Christmas Ben. hahahahahah...
Great post although I hope your Girlfriend never reads them or it's going to be a cold Christmas for you!
My girlfriend thinks that I work online every Saturday morning and has no understanding/knowledge of YFF! The only time it becomes a problem is the mad rush of concentration between 11.50 and noon when I say that I'll come back to her in 10 minutes!!
Merry Christmas Nik and keep up the great work please!
Love the post Nik
just had to comment to all the guys, I AM FEMALE and I play YFF and I'm beating my hubby on points too lol. Saturday mornings are hectic with us both fighting to get on the computer to update our teams.
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